Self Inflicted Stupidity
by Lord of Forgetfulness
Summary: Because the academy is there for a reason, beyond ninjas being zelously overprotective of their knowledge. SI-Parody, not quite one-shot anymore, general insanity.
1. Chapter 1

**Warnings: SI-OC parody with it's shenanigans. Expect randomness and general insanity. One-shot**

* * *

It was a sound theory, but the control needed to make such an achievement is downright ridiculous. Luckily, ever since I can remember, I can feel the energy running under my skin through my body, and how much flows naturally. With some effort, I can redirect some of it to a particular point, which seems to be the opening to almost everything needed to be on the job.

Sure, it isn't the most pleasant experience being able to feel the life-sustaining energy this world appears to have almost everywhere, mostly because it is a constant sensation of being pinched with nails from the inside-out, in the best case it's incredibly distracting but most times it's just extremely annoying.

Then again, from my understanding, being able to pinpoint how much chakra is used is almost as important, if not more, than how much of it one has naturally, and I believe having that attribute outweighs the annoyance.

Besides, I always end up accustomed to physical pain, so it will be fine if I leave it alone, possibly even disappears. Maybe.

I sat down on the small clearing close to the training grounds, grabbed a leaf from the ground and brought it close to my face as I stared at it. Supposedly, making it stick with only chakra was a fairly simple exercise that every academy student could do by age ten. Surely it wouldn't be difficult? I mean, from a logical point of view, it's a ridiculous prospect, but the mechanics in which this world works with are ridiculous. So, with the leaf in my hand I channelled a bit more chakra than what naturally flows to my fingers.

The leaf fell the moment I stopped the pressure with my fingers. Well, in the first try I shouldn't be surprised it didn't work, so I picked the leaf and tried again.

It seems the instructions I overheard the teachers giving to the students in the academy's training ground were extremely vague on purpose, because even after an hour and a half of trying different methods and from different angles, I didn't make even the slightest hint of progress, and I felt I was missing something. I think the leaf fell even faster than before with each try.

I went through every single instruction I remembered, trying to understand what was I doing wrong o what I was not doing, while my hand ached from all the power I channelled to it. In hindsight, for an untrained kid as I was, I suppose it shouldn't have been surprising that I couldn't do it; and I understood that fact.

I took a long breath, while staring at the offensive piece of nature with enough force that it should have made a hole through the thing.

"Stupid useless freaking... AGH!" Well, I said I understood the fact, not that I took it well.

I threw my arm to the side to get rid of the offending leaf (I swore it was mocking me, believe me), and in the moment the thing left my grasp, I briefly lost control of all the chakra I fuelled to my hand. I felt how it exited my body through the tip of my fingers. The dull ache disappeared but a sharp pain took its place, as the leaf that I had just thrown got obliterated in mid-air by seemingly nothing.

I cursed for what felt half a second afterwards, before feeling the kickback of losing all that that chakra at once. It probably wasn't really much I spent in that dumb moment of stupidity, but being a kid meant I really didn't have plenty to spare.

At least, it clicked in my head what was I not doing, before the strain of almost two hours of training hit me all at once leaving me unconscious.

Maybe that project will have to wait until I had more in the way of chakra reserves, but meanwhile I can perfect the theories behind it until then. If I wake up.

It seems the reason I didn't wake up exhausted across the field where I dropped was because the little dumb thing I did before was strong enough to alert some sensor that was in the area. From the looks of it, they originally thought a fight started there, and when they found a pre-academy kid in the ground with a bloodied hand (and a few trees smashed to splinters), the first thing they assumed was that an enemy infiltrated the village, and they tightened security looking for a hostile or possibly another corpse. A bit extreme in my perspective, but this is a culture of subterfuge and assassination, plus we are still in the middle of a war. So I unnecessarily made the village get even jumpier.

Oops?

Before long they figured I wasn't someone important (ehem orphan ehem), so the first things I saw when I woke up were my right hand in so many bandages I couldn't lift my arm, and some dude asking what happened, if I saw anyone strange and fought.

"I was practicing" Was my ever innocent answer. Yeah, for some reason he didn't look like he believed me. Hey, I was just some kid, what did they think, that _I_ was the infiltrator?

But going by the lack of restraints and the fact that there was only one other person I could see, probably not.

Well, looking better at him I realized he was a chuunin, so there _was_ some precaution.

He was about to say something again, before the hospital room's door opened with a bang. The person who entered the room was a young adult woman with blonde hair, and a pair of terrifying brown eyes.

Terrifying mostly by the expression she wore on her face, she just gave a glance to the chuunin in the room to dismiss him, so she was a superior officer. Now I was starting to sweat. What would need someone important in the room I was in?

She just kept staring at me with a slightly angry face, if I read her expression right, and I had to look down from the pressure. Finally, after what felt an eternity, she started talking.

"I know what you were trying to do there." She stated as her gaze directed to my arm.

I was just confused. What, was it really that bad to have been practicing the leaf exercise with no supervision? Or was it bad to have some pre-academy kid trying to do it? My confusion was reflected in my expression, it seems, and her answer was lifting a brow. Then she continued

"I know those kinds of injuries; I had to heal myself plenty of times before I could do it without hurting my arm, back then when I was younger."…

Was it really that dangerous the leaf exercise? It seemed so harmless! Well, at least my respect to the academy and their teachers grow just a bit, because if it was really that dangerous and students could do it fairly easily, seemed the system was working. Sort of. It still felt wrong to have kids learning the arts of killing.

"I didn't know it was that dangerous" was my honest response. For some reason, her answer was to lift the other brow.

"Really, a technique I use to flatten mountains and destroy enemy formations, and you didn't know it was dangerous?"

Wow. The things you could do by sticking a leaf to your hand with only energy. I almost stopped to be sceptical of the whole magic-thingies ninjas could do; if they say they can do it, they probably can.

But really, flatten mountains with a leaf in your hand?

"I just overhead academy teachers giving instructions to students about this 'technique', and I tried it because it seemed easy enough"

Her expression changed to shocked for a second and then to incredulous. She just kept looking at me like that for a solid minute, not saying anything. I didn't say anything either, because I really didn't know what to say. I just tried to move uncomfortably, to find that my body was thoroughly numb.

Then, against common reason of not talking to a superior without being asked to, continued my explanation, if only to make some noise in the really _really_ awkward silence.

"I mean, it seemed pretty simple, just pick a leaf and stick it in your hand, I really didn't know that it was so dangerous"

In that moment, her expression changed again, now just blank, and rotated her head forty five degrees to one side in a very slow motion.

I really don't know what's going on anymore. Maybe they were bored and confusing children is their favourite hobby? Then she started again, carefully maintaining the blank look in her face.

"The leaf exercise?" she said uncertainly, really slowly.

"Um, yes? It's what we were talking about, right?" Was my thoughtless response, because really, what else?

She just kept staring afterwards.

* * *

 **A/N: I had this thing collecting virtual dust for a year now, and found it after I lose track of chapters for another story. I thought why the hell not and just uploaded it.** **At the time I was very into some SI's out there, and this is a random scene that I thought of.**


	2. Chapter 2 - It was a bad idea all along

**A/N: This is a very rough draft. Also, keep in mind English isn't my first language - so expect some degree of weirdness in structure. Further A/N at the bottom.**

* * *

A soft rain fell all along the procession, but the number of umbrellas was next to non-existent. The cold water drops seemed to be welcome, almost, among all present – if only to serve as a mask to retain their composure.

The battle near Gihon River was a particularly bloody affair, even by the standards of this conflict, Sarutobi Hiruzen mused while taking account of all the people giving their loved ones the final goodbye. Men, women, children; Parents, wives, husbands, brothers, sisters, sons, daughters, close friends.

Most gazes were in the respective important one's portrait, though there were more than one who stared at the Hokage with different emotions, and those who blankly kept their eyes in the silvery white clouds adorning the skies.

He doesn't look at any of them in the eyes, not for some reason like an angry Uchiha activating their eyes on him, but because he couldn't bring himself do so. Perhaps the war has gone for far too long, is a thought that has been coming to his mind lately. But all the pains of today are for the better future, claimed his ex-teammates when he expressed his growing concerns.

Still, it doesn't make things more bearable. The grief-full expressions he can see from his peripheral view sting at his consciousness.

Perhaps if he himself were to take action in the field, not so many of his citizens would be lost.

But he experienced first-hand what happens when the unexpected occurs and the Hokage is killed. To say the years following that fateful mission where his sensei gave his life for his team to escape were unstable is an understatement. Who in their right minds would let a boy just in his teens be the most important person on the village?

But he is digressing.

The point is, he can't be there for them in the battlefield, but he can at least pay them the respect that is due.

The speech he gave them may have sounded a little forced, or practiced. Because it was, he couldn't really trust himself to be steadfast if he went with a more on-the-spot speech. He was a leader, and of trained killers he may add. He needed to radiate confidence, for if he were to show even a little weakness, things would be crashing down left and right.

He looked at the sector where most children were gathered. Orphans, most likely, from this day onwards. There was one of them who, in contrast of their fellows who were crying their eyes out, was blankly staring upwards.

Sarutobi Hiruzen took off his hat, using a hand to press it against his chest, and moved his eyes towards the sky. He maintained a carefully neutral face.

In his mind, he thanked the clouds and the almost freezing water falling from them, deep, deep down.

Who can tell the difference with his face already moisten with the rain?

* * *

A front was closed, but the end of the war was nowhere near the horizon. And even more casualties were reported. Hanzo was already considered a very large threat, but now that he single-handedly stopped a full division which also contained the three prized students of the Third Hokage, it was clear that he was not to be messed with.

And his statement was clear: Leave this country alone.

So they did, from all sides. In fact, Konoha seemed to have gotten lightly from the run-in with the Salamander, if the reports of Iwa nin avoiding the place like the plague was any indication. Though, to be safe, a sizable amount has to be left guarding the border.

With ninjas one can never be sure if what are they doing is misdirection or not.

And so Senju Tsunade ended her report; her teammate Orochimaru staying like a statue at her side mostly silent letting her do all the work. The jerk, he even had this amused look when she briefly looked at him.

She also had recounted what happened to Jiraiya afterwards, seeing the look of restlessness her old sensei gave her, which seemed to relieve him. Then immediately afterwards, he cursed, rather politely mind you.

The Hokage looked at the two students in front of him, and his eyes expressed everything he wanted to say.

Tsunade shrugged, and stated that Jiraiya was already old enough to be responsible for his own acts, and neither she nor Orochimaru were Jiraiya's babysitters.

It was in that moment that a toad poofed into existence, to convey the toad-sennin's message. Sarutobi wasn't amused.

Tsunade excused herself, citing that her help was needed in the hospital. Before she ended turning around, the snake-sennin was already gone. She sighed at the antics of the members of her genin team (including her sensei), but continued walking.

The Village looked rather worn, compared to a few years back, even if no real fighting has happened on its streets. There were closed stands and shops, no new ones to take their places. Even the people walking and going about their lives seemed worn and tired.

She knew, she saw the countryside. The situation was still escalating, the ninja paranoia was making all sort of lives hell, and not only of their fellow ninjas. Actually, most times was anyone but a ninja.

She respects her sensei, but with the current state of affairs, it was rather easy to lose that respect.

She was halfway from the Tower to the Hospital when a rather big boom sounded nearby, a few trees fell, and thirteen seconds later an alarm went off – possible infiltration.

She continued her way to the hospital; even if she was good in a fight, her true strength lied not in the battlefield but in the surgery room. Plus, this was a shinobi village. There was someone with a thousand ways to kill you at every corner, but not so many with the ability to heal you.

The alarm shut off before she passed the entrance to the hospital.

* * *

In retrospective, it wasn't the brightest of ideas, he thought.

It seemed at the time; the kids he saw at the academy were doing that rather easily. Well, most of them, at least. It looks like the academy and teachers were not in there for no reason, he mused.

Ah, but life would be too easy if he could just copy what ninjas were doing without any idea what where they doing in the first place.

* * *

He may have not lived long, but he already understands: this world is not for the weak. Or at least, not for them to live freely. To be squished like bugs at the musings of those in power, maybe, but to live freely (let alone just to live, he thought rather morbidly), no.

He didn't want to die when someone decided he was going to die.

He didn't want to be used as a piece in a game. To be considered just a peon to be discarded when the situation needs it.

He also didn't want to kill just because someone told him to do so.

He really didn't want to become a shinobi. But to live freely, one has to be strong enough to protect his way of life. It only takes one greedy or jealous man to sign a contract with ninjas to take you out of the map. That, or to be a target for the ninjas in the first place.

For a while now, he has been considering to just leave. No one would notice a missing orphan, not even their fellows. It happens all the time.

He was considering this for a few weeks, since the death of his parents (he can't remember the real amount of time, it could have been months), until he overhead some vendors' muttering.

"It happened again" one of them said, a hand covering his chin while looking pensive. "another group was guttered because they were 'suspicious individuals'"

One of the others grunted, his gaze turned to the ground.

"So it really hs'come to this. Just kill everyone who isn't one of yers. Just great. Well, t'least I ain't plannin to move from this place'til the outside looks a lil'better." The fruit vendor said, "even if I 'come homeless" he finished with a sigh.

The boy took this moment to snatch away one apple, but he understood what the men were talking about.

He felt chills running down his neck and through his spine, and he constantly tried not to make any sudden move so he doesn't draw attention to himself.

Luckily it seemed none of the vendors noticed him, so with acted nonchalance he continued his merry way away, while cautiously hiding his prize from direct line of sight.

He found a nice shade under a tree, close to the main road, and wolfed down the fruit while his mind ran the implications of what he had heard.

He knew they were amidst a war. He knew what had happened to his parents. Both of them had been shinobi, so while it hurt to say, it was not really unexpected for them to not return.

But what he heard those men say was different.

Ninja were killing off civillians and people completely unaffiliated with ninjas just because the enemy could have disguised themselves.

He probably couldn't even run to the mountains to live in solitude because some ninja would find it suspicious and kill him to be sure he wasn't a shinobi.

Thus his current problem.

To be able to survive the world of shinobi, he would need to become one himself, or at least have the skills of one of them. To a certain degree; he has heard of powerful individuals, and if he, just a nonimportant child has heard of them, all of the shinobi forces should have knowledge of them. So they are in the watchful eyes of everyone.

Not something he particularly wants for himself.

So his best bet would be to learn those skills but still to be unremarkable enough to pass under the radar.

Maybe he could just be a mediocre or sub-par ninja nobody would mind or think twice if never came back from a mission.

But being a ninja still left an unsavoury taste in his mouth, so his effort would be try to learn everything he could to defend himself without actually becoming one. Though maybe it would help him with another growing problem he has been having since not long ago.

He threw the heart of the apple he just finished to the side. He really felt bad for the old man who he stole it from, but he was penniless and the food served at the orphanage really wasn't enough. Maybe one day he would pay him the amount of all those fruits he stole.

If either of them were to be alive by then.

So, decided in a course of action, he pulled himself from his seat and started walking towards the ninja academy. It wasn't particularly difficult to get there, even though some roads and sidewalks confused him greatly and made him lost more than once, the way to the academy was always in sight.

No, really, because it was right next to the administration tower. _The_ tower? Visible from any point of the village, ring any bells?

But seriously, it was a straight line through the main street. He had to be careful not to bump into someone, because for some reason, maybe his age and or short stature, he was easily ignored or something.

Not that he was complaining, at least logically. It served his purposes, in fact. He could try to get around the academy and maybe he could be an unintended audience to a class or something.

He was brought from his thoughts with a rather harsh collision with the body of someone, which surprised him in equal amounts as the collision itself.

He took a moment to collect himself and then looked at the person he ran into. She was a rather pretty young woman with rather eye catching red hair and a yukata full of swirls everywhere, but quickly he noticed she was carefully looking at him, as if searching for something. He also noticed the other readheads near her scrutinized him. Without a second thought he apologized, almost spitting all over the place as he tried to not gag.

They took another second before he was again ignored, and they continued their way.

He saw them go, then closed his eyes, and slowly inhaled, trying to calm the pain.

There it was again, that stench. The smell that his parents radiated when they went off that day.

Shaking his head, he resumed what he was going to do.

Someday, he'll say goodbye to this world of slaughter and live in peace.

* * *

Going around the academy and getting a good place to hear an outdoors class was surprisingly easy. And, even though for him at the start it was mostly gibberish they were saying, helpfully there was the idiot of the class that needed a crash course, again, on the principles of chakra.

Which suited him just fine, and he began to roughly understand what they were talking about.

To a normal person it could sound like garbage all the talk of strange energy that seemed to be miraculous or something, like allowing one to walk on walls or on water or spit fire. But he had seen ninja doing crazier things daily, so it wasn't completely unbelievable.

He tried moulding and moving it, like the instructor was saying, inside his body. It's fair to say that he needed more than a single try to do it. A few days to be precise, but when he made it, he widened his eyes in realization; the growing pain he was feeling all over his body recently has been his own chakra, if what that teacher was saying was correct. Though there were parts of the explanation that didn't quite fit with all, but still, he could do something other than closing his eyes, breathing and hoping that pain would go away. It' wasn't particularly easy, either, as he needs to control the damn thing through all his body if he wished to not feel that stinging pain for everything he did.

Yeah, it was getting worse quickly.

So, he normally excused himself from playing with his fellow orphans in favour of getting somewhere where he could calm the raging ache he would undoubtedly wake up with. It's not like he could control the damn thing while he was sleeping, was it?

Oh, and the whole going around the village, or the stalking the academy? Yeah, neither was supposedly permitted. But as far as he knows, no one has really noticed his adventures outside. The people who worked in the orphanage were rather overworked; a single kid who wasn't around wasn't a big enough alarm for them to stop doing whatever they were doing to look for them.

So far, so good.

Well, to be honest, he also avoided playing with other children because he wasn't stupid. He overheard them talk, many of them were either children of ninjas and wanted to be like their parents, or were children of civilians and were inspired by the others and also wanted to become ninjas. If they knew him and then they wondered about his whereabouts, it could be a problem for his 'under the radar' approach.

Even if the loneliness hurt a little.

He could be less lonely once he was far, far away from this madness. Until then, he only could try to keep himself alive.

Well, that was the idea, until the yellow menace. For some reason that kid didn't give up on inviting him after the first two rejections; rather, it seemed to give him more motivation, like if it were to be a challenge.

He would give it to blondy, he knew how to make people follow him. One week since the yellow menace came into this orphanage and he already became something like a leader for many of other children.

Blondy and or his lackeys would invite him like every hour or so, even when he made sure to be really hard to find.

He huffed in annoyance before sitting, making that weird hand sign or seal or whatever the academy students were doing to concentrate. It made somehow slightly easier to manipulate the weird energy running under his skin.

He was cut from his concentration by a hand to his shoulder, which made him jump from fright and wince at the pain associated with his chakra running free.

Blondy was there. Oh joy.

It would take a few days and getting caught by general yellow and his lackeys before he could make it and go through the streets again.

He was feeling particularly hungry after so many days of Orphanage Food Only, so he went and snatched two fruits from the same vendor and carefully went to a quiet place to eat.

Somewhat sated, he tried his luck and went again to the academy. Well, the yard, or training ground, that is.

He went a few times there after the first time, but those hadn't been really helpful. After something like half an hour of different explanations, the instructor grabbed a leaf and stuck it on his forehead, in a rather comical way if someone were to ask him. But then the leaf didn't fall, instead it stuck on the man's forehead.

He grumbled a bit, trying to hear what the teacher was saying because they were rather far away and he couldn't get any closer without blowing his cover.

It seemed that he used chakra for that, and he thinks he heard that it's good for control as it's the basics for other things that he couldn't really discern because a loud group of children. But it was worth it, he supposed. Just stick a leaf to a part of his body, how difficult could it get?

Not that he would be practicing there, he would preferably be rather far, so no one could see him trying to do something that rather advanced (at least in age) academy students were trying to do. It wouldn't give him any favours to stand out.

It's just a leaf, right?

* * *

Agent Shin made his routine check of possible recruits. The organization needed to be as secretive as possible, so getting some of the more… notorious hopefuls would cause commotion and possible investigation. Not that it would be a big inconvenience, they are all orphans after all, but the less light is made towards the organization, the better.

There were a few that he was considering. Among the older ones were a few, but the younger ones are the ones who always have more potential. They simply are more mouldable.

Male, third generation ninja, calm, collected; unremarkable facial structure and no particular distinctive marks. The records of his progenitors say of significant potential, but nothing out of the ordinary for the organization. Has two other peers who he seems rather attached and could potentially raise concerns in case of disappearance.

He gave subject one a passing glance.

Female, partial clan offspring. One of the progenitors was first generation ninja as far the registration goes. A bastard that would make the clan she was partly associated with by blood feel better if she would simply disappear; the other parent was disinherited from the clan and perished shortly after. Notable marks, heterochromatic eyes, but nothing that a ceramic mask can't hide. Doesn't have any particular friend, but has good enough relations with the majority. Possible concerns the same as subject one.

Again, agent Shin gave a passing glance this time to subject two.

Male, offspring of first generation ninja as far as registry goes. Progenitors weren't particularly notable, but still were chuunin. Medical file on the subject says the mother checked him with paediatrician for possible out-of-the-norm mental growth. Both parent and medic have already perished before anything was made clear. Also calm, and observation suggests he doesn't go particularly well with peers; almost perfect subject in that sense. Notable marks: grey hair, bright white eyes. No relation found with the Hyuuga clan. Also, pupils are notoriously visible. Again, nothing that the standard ceramic mask and a hood can't hide.

He moved his eyes, trying to find subject three. He narrowed his eyes as he couldn't find that subject.

 _Possible natural ability to slip away unnoticed, or something else?_ He mused, suspicious.

He started searching the immediate area, and true enough, he found subject three a good distance away from the orphanage, but not too far, sitting in a small clearing, and glaring at something in his right hand.

No order has given to bring in any new recruits, so he maintained his duty as observer for the remaining time. He was curious and suspicious of subject three now; he can monitor subject four and five at a later day. Now he has to determine if subject three is a sleeping agent or if he is simply trying to do what it looks like he is trying to do.

He really wasn't prepared for what happened a few minutes later. It was a really bad day he decided the standard armour wasn't needed for a simple in-village monitor mission.

* * *

Stupid leaf.

He grumbled annoyed, trying to incinerate the offending and rather dry object in his hand with his gaze.

He has been there for hours now. Forget the forehead; he can't make it stick to his freaking fingertips, which was something the teacher had said it was the easiest place to start with.

He thought he may have used too little chakra. Honestly, he didn't feel any different, and the other teachers he had heard said something like there is consumption of chakra and one get tired and all, but he didn't feel anything. Maybe yes, he was using too little, so he used the next hour and a half carefully raising the amount of chakra to his fingertips.

So far nothing worked; the leaf still automatically fell as if to make fun of him.

He grabbed the thing again, a vein ready to pop in his forehead.

He maintained it in front of himself a few moments. He was really losing patience on this.

Maybe, there was a thought inside of him, maybe he is naturally bad at all this ninja thing.

He really didn't want to think that. It would mean that he would be most likely weak for life, a bug waiting to be smashed. At the same time, it brought him some amount of relief – that if he isn't good at it, nothing would be expected of him, and possibly no ninja life for him.

He looked at the leaf as if were the harbinger of all things that went bad with his life. He noted that it was getting late.

He grumbled "Stupid leaf" again, a little higher this time, and decides to just throw the offending object to his side and go back to the orphanage.

He didn't expect that in a little lapse of concentration a pain bigger that anything he ever felt, run through his arm. Then a sudden pressure as a rather strong wind started from nowhere, and he felt himself being quickly drained, like if he had been running at top speed all day long. His mind went foggy, but he still heard a few dry crunches and a wet splat, before everything faded into a sea of darkness and pain.

* * *

Kogane Daisen is one of the few iryo-nin available inside the village 24/7, due a particularly nasty injury he had in one of his legs, rendering him non-field capable.

There were moments when he honestly desired more medics were crippled so they would go to the hospital and help reducing the weight on the current staff's shoulders.

Thirteen hours straight of work, nine cups of tea, a soldier's pill, and his shift is nowhere near its end. He already has lost count of the amount of patients he has seen, and in more than one occasion he has seen a patient twice because he couldn't remember if he has already checked on them.

Mindlessly walking through the hospital's corridors, entering and leaving rooms, healing internal traumas, broken bones, checking on chakra-depletion victims – it was exhausting to say the least.

Then an alarm went off, and he had to take a moment to understand where it was coming from. When he understood it was a widespread one and not one from within the hospital, he stopped his routine and started walking towards the surgery room, as was his primary designation. It was highly probable there would be someone in near-death he would have to help stabilize, either a captured enemy, or a comrade.

A few seconds after he entered the room, two shadowy figures entered carrying two bodies. Two rather beaten up bodies, one clad similarly to the black ops agents, and the other was just a kid.

Daisen briefly looked at another iryo-nin at his side, good old Yamaguchi, before the two of them gestured the black ops agents to leave the patients in the surgery beds.

As per protocol, they checked the obvious ninja for any hidden traps or weapons (and his vitals). The man had already passed away a few seconds before, and by the state of his solar plexus and ribs, it would be difficult to resurrect.

He grunted and stepped away from the dead one, and moved towards the child, gesturing the lesser medics away so he could start working. It seemed this one was still alive, at least.

Typical procedures; checking vitals, getting a blood and chakra sample, looking for other injuries than the obvious. It was rather strange that the boy had only chakra exhaustion other than the very notorious almost-obliterated right arm. And the chakra sample, as little as it was due the state of the patient, was also rather strange. Normal people have this bluish-white chakra, iryo-nin tending toward greenish, and it was relatively simple to extract.

Not this one, in all aspects.

He was interrupted from his observations by the opening of the door, and a blonde woman entered the room leisurely. She took account of the situation before one of the black ops agents that had vanished before (he couldn't really tell if this one was the same as the ones before) jumped to her side, seemingly passed a message and vanished again.

The woman then started barking orders left and right, and pulled up her sleeves.

Daisen looked at the kid again. It seemed that the brat was lucky; the probability of him dying now was really low.

* * *

He woke up slowly, and in his still foggy mind he noticed that the widespread pain he normally find himself with after a good sleep was more subdued. Maybe he started controlling the flow of chakra while unconscious? That would be great.

But when he tried moving his head, he suddenly felt really, like, absolutely _tired_. And he remembered what had happened before he passed out, and something in his mind clicked.

Oh. So that was what he was missing.

And now he was very aware in the fact that he was in a room that was full of the smell of disinfectant.

So much for passing under the radar, he thought. Well, maybe if he acted ignorant, he could maybe fool them and he would be ignored again. Yeah, as unlikely as it sounded… it may work, considering he was rather young still.

It was then that a deliberate grunt from someone in the room made the presence of the ninja known.

The boy gulped as he slowly looked towards the shinobi's direction. The man had this stern look, and aside from the headband, he was rather unremarkable. He could have been anyone the boy passed by on the street.

The man narrowed his eyes at him, before sighing and going out of the room.

The boy exhaled a breath he didn't know he was withholding at the man's departure. His relief was short-lived, however, as a few moments later a woman with a very shinobi-feel around her walked into the room, and like the man before her, she looked at him, scrutinizing as if looking for something.

He was getting really nervous, and it would have shown on his face or something, because the woman stopped her inspecting look with a raising brow, before walking near the bed, crossing her arms over her chest.

He really, really didn't want to be anywhere near.

* * *

She discarded the 'maybe it's a spy' for the moment, the kid didn't seem to act like an enemy agent caught red handed. He didn't start spilling things the moment he saw the ninja, and while the chakra readings on the boy were… _interesting_ , it didn't have any signs of obvious training, like it would been expected from a shinobi child with a spying mission.

But as all know it, ninjas are a bunch of untrusting paranoid fellows, so that possibility wasn't off the table yet.

She wasn't a dedicated sensor, but she could still feel the distress in the movement of chakra on the brat, and it wasn't like the ones enemies would display; more like a naughty kid caught by an adult while doing something stupid.

Still, a few things didn't match. Security was rather jumpy with this brat when a sensor noted that the chakra the kid has felt like it was moulded and ready to cast a jutsu. Further reading proved that the brat was indeed unconscious, but still, he was given the max dose on drugs to keep him that way for safety reasons.

One of the medics had mentioned something strange on this brat's chakra. Normal people have a chakra density between 0.8 and 1.1 in its normal state, and children somewhat his age were around 0.6.

But this kid had passed well beyond 5; it was like the density when a very advanced ninja was about to unleash a grade A ninjutsu, at the very least.

Also, normal chakra flows rather easily, like a river down a really steep mountain. But this one's felt like a very sluggish thing, even more so than other people's with the same proportion of drugs that were stuffed in his body.

And, not to forget, he had been sporting injuries she was very familiar with. She had needed to heal those on herself when she was perfecting her super-strength technique all those years ago.

Some more enthusiastic medics present thought that the kid could be carrying a new kekkei genkai or something, but she wasn't convinced.

Well, so far, the boy hasn't blown himself up on her face with that ridiculous chakra.

Still, she needed answers. And her teacher, for that matter, as he wanted to know what had happened, as it could be that village security could have been breached or something, she really hadn't pay much attention to her sensei.

So, with eyes still locked on the brat, she started questioning.

* * *

"I know what you were trying to do back then"

The woman started. Ah, crap – he had heard of ninjas being really zealous of their ninja-related knowledge. He didn't think they would really mind him trying to copy the leaf exercise. He means, it wasn't particularly well guarded; granted, they only teach it to academy students, but surely not all of them become ninja.

Right?

So even if he were to be caught, it wouldn't be that much of a problem, he had thought, because it was rather simple and wasn't a weapon of mass destruction or anything as far as he knew.

So what was this woman looking so angry about? If they wanted to keep it secret, then they should have been more careful about how they were teaching it!

The woman was getting visibly impatient.

"Tell me, who taught you that technique? Or were you trying to do it from scratch?" She gave him a sharp look that he couldn't decipher.

And he was confused. He wasn't taught, per se, but still, she seemed to treat it like it was a really important secret or something. Well, now that he was caught, lying to them could only bring him more troubles than it was worth. So with the truth he went.

"I overhead an academy teacher instructing a class how to do it. They were outdoors, so I simply caught what they were talking about and I thought it was rather simple so I went and tried it"

And now it was her turn to be confused, enough to show on her face. Hey look, now he can brag about how he got a high ranking shinobi (because if this woman wasn't a high ranking ninja he would eat his sandals) make a dumbstruck expression. Though it changed quickly into one of disbelief.

"You are telling me that you overheard a class on the _academy_ , where was a teacher explaining it to _inexperienced students_?" Her voice was dripping scepticism.

It was like a game of passing confused faces to one another.

"Well, yes." He started carefully. "I mean, it doesn't look and neither the explanation does sound difficult" He finished as he noticed the woman's brows shot up to unprecedented heights, and he wondered if it was also a ninja technique.

He winced at the look she gave him, and hastily word vomited in an attempt to calm the very dangerous angry woman.

"Imeanit'sjustpickaleaffromthegroundandtrytostickittotourforeheadorsomethingright?I'msorryIdidn'tknowitwasabadthingitseemedsosimplesoIjusttrieditSorrySorrySorry…"

He stopped when he noticed the expression on the woman's face change again, but this time it changed into a hard to describe look, rather blank but not completely. She slowly started rotating her head to one side.

An unknown amount of time passed as they looked at each other, until the woman broke the silence.

"Are you… talking… about the leaf exercise?" Her voice, this time, dripped a different kind of disbelief.

He looked at the woman weirdly, but still answered with an honest "Yes" because, what else could have been it?

The expression on her face changed again to dumbfounded.

* * *

 **A/N: I have no idea what I'm doing.**

 **So essentially this is the same as the original, with a couple thousand words extra. The idea is more or less the same as the one from one year ago - just a bit more thought out. I'm still not sure how the hell write this, either first person, or third person - omnipresent or not? - so this is in third person. May have noticed a bit of time jumps back and forward. I know from previous experiences that there are people that can follow or ones that really struggle with this kind of writing.**

 **If you haven't noticed, I put a lot of references in it - basically for the lulz. I don't even remember the names of the stories I'm referencing, though I can remember some (in really particular cases) names, or general appareance of characters or some events.**

 **Actually, this OC isn't _that_ off canon, because he's based on a character we did see in the series for about 3 seconds, we don't know his personality, real eye color, abilities or even his name. So I took liberties with those (also, he's based off a secondary character from a novel I'm currently writing - that's where the special shit comes from)**

 **And lastly, this is an attempt of a somewhat different reincarnation-thing than what we see on the daily. Think of this one not as a kid with an adult mind, but as a kid with easier times comprehending intricacies most children aren't normally aware of, or for the matter, really capable of understanding until much later in life. We have seen canon characters like these, so it shouldn't be really strange. In fact, we probably have seen weirder things on canon.**


End file.
